Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Free Falling into the Future

How does one decide how to spend the rest of one's life?  Joseph Campbell said "If you do follow your bliss you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living.  Follow your bliss and don't be afraid, and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be."  Well, it doesn't feel like that when you are taking that leap of faith.  It feels darn right scary.

I often jump into the abysses.  I must enjoy the thrill of the dark cave, the unknown space I am constantly falling into.  This is what usually happens--I get a great idea and things begin to go well. I might be writing, opening an art gallery, I might be having lots of clients, funerals to perform.  Then there is a dry spell and I think "Oh, my-- I better get a job.  How will I pay my bills?  I spend hours on end searching for a "job" (as we all find ourselves doing at some point.)  Finally that "job" comes through and I am relieve, a relief that is short lived.  Not long after business (whatever business idea I was working on at the time) starts to pick up.  People are calling and suddenly I have too many clients.  I can't fit them all in because--I have a "job."  I have to punch the time clock--I race to keep up with it all and nothing works.  I can't keep up and I make myself crazy trying.